


Remus Evans

by nothingeverlost



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Eventual James Potter/Lily Evans Potter, Eventual Sirius Black/Remus Lupin, F/M, M/M, Remus Lupin & Lily Evans Potter Friendship, lily's family are witches
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-12-10
Updated: 2021-01-01
Packaged: 2021-03-09 18:40:16
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 6,956
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27990885
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/nothingeverlost/pseuds/nothingeverlost
Summary: When Lily Evans is eight years old her parents (both wizards) take in a child who needs a home.  Remus Lupin's father is dead and his muggle mum has surrendered him, believing that she can't properly take care of a child who is both magical and a werewolf.  Eventually, Remus is adopted and three years later Remus and Lily Evans board the Hogwarts Express together.Open for prompting
Relationships: James Potter/Lily Evans Potter, Marauders & Lily Evans Potter, Remus Lupin & Lily Evans Potter, Sirius Black/Remus Lupin
Comments: 24
Kudos: 61





	1. A New Home

**Author's Note:**

> Not a linear story. Will be jumping around the timeline. 
> 
> Lily's family are wizards and Petunia is a squib. Other than that many things will happen the same, like the Marauders. But different too, of course.
> 
> Eventually, there will be Sirius/Remus and James/Lily.

Lily Evans was eight years old when she became a big sister. True, he was only a month and a half younger and an inch shorter, but that didn’t matter to Lily. She was ready to embrace being a big sister. It might not have been as important to her even a few months earlier, but during the summer a letter to Hogwarts had not arrived for her sister, who was eleven. Petunia hadn’t shown any signs of magic but there had been hope until the September of her eleventh year had come and gone without a letter. Now Petunia hardly talked to her. Hardly talked to anyone in the family, and spent as much time at the library or with friends as she was allowed.

“It’s going to take a little while, sweetheart. Why don’t you go play and I’ll call you when they’re here?” Lily was sitting cross-legged on the floor not too far from the fireplace in the drawing-room. It was the floo that her dad would be using when he came home. He wouldn’t be alone.

“I have a book.” She touched the book that she hadn’t opened today. “I want to see him when he gets here. It must be kind of scary, don’t you think? And kind of sad not to have a home anymore.”

“He has a home now. You can show him his new room when he gets here.” Marigold Evans kissed the top of her daughter’s head. The decision to bring home a foster child had only happened a few days ago, but they had spent most of the time since then transforming the guest room into something more personal. The walls had been painted blue the muggle way, but the stars the sparkled on the ceiling after the lights were turned off were magic. The quilt on the bed was one that Grandma Evans had made, and there was a bookcase next to the bed filled with books, some donated by Lily, some bought at a second-hand shop. A few of the stuffed animals that Petunia had declared she was too old for were on the bed. “I have to go check on dinner.”

Lily didn’t have too much longer to wait. Before her mother had time to come check on her the fireplace started glowing. A moment later her dad appeared, his hand firmly holding onto that of a little boy. Her new brother. Lily scrambled to her feet. “Welcome home, Remus.”

The little boy with the chestnut hair and the scar on his cheek stared at her for a moment before running from the room.

“It’s not you, poppet.” Her dad set down the bag he was carrying. “He’s had a lot happen already today. He probably just needed a minute alone. I’ll go check on him.”

“Can I do it?” She knew all the best hiding places in the house.

“If he asks to be alone you need to listen, okay?” Lily nodded solemnly. He’d been giving her the same advice about Petunia but it was easier to understand this time.

She found him in the loo, sitting with his knees pulled up to his chest and his back against the tub. The door was open so she went in and sat on the floor facing him. “Is it okay if I sit here?”

Remus looked up when she spoke, but only shrugged before looking down at the tile floor again.

“My name’s Lily. My dad says we’re the same age. He’s the one that told me your name. I’ve never met a Remus before but it’s a cool name. Cooler than being named after a flower.” She didn’t mind being named after a flower, not really. Tuney was named after a flower too, and mum. But so were lots of other people. It would be nice to have a name no one else had.

“My mum likes flowers. She has a garden.” His voice was almost a whisper and Lily had to strain to hear it.

“My mum has a garden too, I could show it to you.” Mum and dad had explained to her and Tuney that they weren’t supposed to ask about Remus’ parents. His dad had died a little while ago and his mum couldn’t take care of him. Lily didn’t know why it was important that his mum was a muggle but for some reason, her mum and dad thought that meant something.  
Remus shook his head.

“I could show you your bedroom? It’s more comfortable than the loo and it’s across the hall from mine but if you want to be alone you could just close the door. Dad charmed the ceiling to have stars on it but if you don’t like stars or blue we can change the color.” When she was little she had flowers on her ceiling but the charm had long since faded. She was thinking about asking her dad to do stars on her ceiling too. “Mum’s making shepherd's pie for dinner but it’s not ready yet.”

Remus shrugged again, but this time he stood up and Lily figured that was a yes. She reached out to take his hand but he didn’t take it so she stuck it in her pocket and let the way up the stairs.

II

Remus was cold. He was always cold now, it seemed, ever since that night in the garden but it was worse since they had taken him to the building they called Ministry and the little room with the door that didn’t open. There was a blanket on the bed but the floor was stone without a carpet and someone had taken away his shoes. They’d taken away his mum too.   
His mum had promised him that everything would be okay if he was a brave boy. Someone would be able to take care of him better than she could. She was a good mum and read him stories and made him soup when he didn’t feel good. He understood, though, that it was his fault that he couldn’t stay at home. Mum was a muggle and he was s monster, and muggles couldn’t protect themselves from monsters. In the beginning, after he’d been in St Mungo’s and his bites had healed, dad had been able to keep her safe but he was gone now. Dead, mum had said, but he didn’t like to think about that word.

“He’s a child. A human child with no more ability to hurt you than a flobberworm.” Usually there was only silence in the hall, but a few hours after lunch had been taken away Remus heard yelling. He didn’t like yelling. The floor was cold but there was space between the wall and the desk, so he crouched down as small as he could.

“Mr. Evans you can’t…”

“I think you’ll find that I can and I will.” The door opened and while Remus waited for more yelling he heard only the sounds of feet shuffling across the stone floor.  
“Remus?” The same voice that had been shouting in the hall was quiet now. “Do you remember me?”

Remus looked up and found the man that he had talked to the first day he’d been in the room. He’d brought paints and paper, and asked Remus if there was anything he needed. Remus had lied and said he didn’t need anything at all. He needed his mum and dad but he couldn’t have them anymore. Slowly he nodded.

“I know things have been very confusing and probably scary, but it’s going to be alright. I’m going to take you home with me, alright? My wife Mari is excited to meet you and so is Lily, my daughter who is just a little older than you. I have two little girls, Lily and Petunia, but I’ve always wanted a little boy too..” The man with the bright red hair was bigger than his dad had been, but he wasn’t scary. His hand when he reached out was warm. Remus looked at the hand, so much larger than his own, and bit his lower lip.

“I’m going to get your bag, alright Remus? And that picture on the wall, the one you painted. I’d like to take that with us too. Is that okay?”

Remus looked around the room. He wanted to go home, but he couldn’t. Somewhere else had to be better than where he was. He nodded.

II

“He’s hiding in the closet again. He’s such a freak, I don’t understand why he’s here.” It wasn’t often that Petunia was asked to talk to Remus in the three days he’d been in their home, but she’d been the only one around to call him to dinner. Her job a failure she sat down and dished food onto her plate, starting to eat despite the fact that everyone else was waiting.

“I’ll go get him.” Lily took a roll from the basket. Sometimes she couldn’t convince him to leave the closet and at least he would have something to eat until mum could take a plate upstairs. Since he’d come home Remus had rarely left his room and hadn’t gone outside at all.

“Remus?” She knocked on his door even though she knew that he wouldn’t answer. The room looked empty but the closet door was open. She sat down just outside of the closet door. 

“Mum made chicken and mashed potatoes. Aren’t you hungry?” He hadn’t come down for lunch, though he had been down for breakfast and had three sausage rolls. She reached out and put the roll next to his feet. His face was hidden behind a robe but when he snatched at the roll she could see the now familiar scar on his hand. “I can bring you more if you don’t want to come down.”

“It’s better if I’m not there.”

“We want you with us. Tuney isn’t mad at you, she’s mad at everything because she didn’t get a Hogwarts letter and it makes her sad.” He didn’t say anything but she could hear him eating the roll.

“I’ll be right back, okay?” She ran downstairs and filled a plate with dinner, as much as it would hold, and took two forks, running back upstairs before mum or dad could ask any questions. Tuney was already gone from the table. When she got back to Remus’ room she joined him in the closet and handed him the second fork. “It’s like a picnic.”

He ate most of the mashed potatoes but she didn’t mind. After they ate he needed to wash his hands in the loo, and when he came back he say on his bed instead of in the closet.

II

Lily was in the garden. It was bright outside and he could see the sun on her hair as she checked on her pumpkins. Remus watched her through the window; she’d invited her out with him but he couldn’t go. He hadn’t been outside in weeks, not since he left his old home, and even then he’d only gone because he promised his mum he would. Bad things happened when you went outside. In April, a month after his birthday, he’d gone outside in the garden and when he’d woken up he’d been in the hospital and everything had changed.

“There’s some gobstones on the bookshelf by the back door, sweetheart. Why don’t you take them out and play with Lily, I’m sure she’d love a game.” Mari Evans, who told him he could call her Mari or mum, whatever felt comfortable, joined him at the window. Remus shook his head.

“Did you want to help me make some cookies? I was going to do some baking.” Remus thought for a moment, because he liked watching his mum bake, and usually where there were cookies there was also chocolate. Lily was outside, though, and someone needed to watch her and make sure nothing happened. He shook his head again.

“Okay, sweetheart. If you change your mind come join me. When they’re done I’ll make some cocoa and we can all have a nice afternoon treat.” She kissed the top of his head and let him stand at the window in peace. Every once in a while he looked over to where she was working, but mostly he watched Lily. She watered her pumpkins and picked up a gnome, sending it over the garden wall. Finally she started back towards the house and Remus sighed with relief.

“Do I smell cookies?” Lily grinned when she came inside.

“Your mum is baking.” It was easier to talk to Lily than anyone else. 

“Our mum.” Lily wrapped an arm around his shoulder. “We’re sharing, remember?” 

Remus nodded slowly. It was hard to say the word mum, even to Lily.

II

“I want to go.” It was after dinner when dad and Remus headed for the fireplace in the living room. Lily didn’t understand where they could be going so late in the day but she knew that Remus needed her. After almost three weeks she was still the only person in the family who could get him to say much more than ‘yes please’ and ‘no thank you.’

“They’ll be back before you wake up, love. Why don’t you run up and brush your teeth? The sooner you’re asleep the sooner it will be morning.” Lily’s mum was making bread, a sure sign that she was worried. She always brought bread unless she was worried and needed something to do with her hands.

“But mum…” 

“You can’t go with them, it’s not safe.” 

“Why is it okay for Remus to go?” He’d barely left the house since he’d arrived, and even then he’d only been in the garden a few times, never too far from the door.

“You have to trust that your dad knows what’s best, Lily. You know he cares about Remus.” Mum kneaded her bread and behind them, the sound of the floo meant then Remus was already gone. Upstairs Petunia was in her room with the door closed, and Lily knew that even if if the door was open they wouldn’t be able to talk.

Lily went to bed reluctantly and tried to stay awake until her dad and Remus returned. The moon was bright enough that she could read a book without using a light, and for a while that was enough to keep her awake. She didn’t quite make it to midnight before falling asleep and woke up hours later to her mum and dad talking in the hall.

“I can’t do that again, Mar. The room looked like a cage and the way they treated him…”

“We’ll figure something else out for next month, sweetheart. We’ll do everything we can to protect him.” Lily listened until her mum and dad were gone before creeping across the hall. If dad was home then Remus must be too. 

She figured he might be asleep already but when she saw him it was the bandages on his arms she noticed, bits of blood seeping through. He was sleeping but shivering despite the blankets on him. Lily bit her lip, trying to keep herself from making a noise. If mum and dad knew that she was awake they might try and make her go back to her room and Remus needed her. She didn’t understand what had happened but she knew that she needed to keep him safe. Carefully she climbed onto the bed, pulling the covers over her. Making sure to avoid any bandages she wrapped an arm around his waist. She could keep him warm for now, and she would learn how to keep him safe. He was her brother, after all, and that’s what sisters were supposed to do.


	2. September 1, 1971

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The Evans siblings are Hogwarts bound.

“Alright, son, just head straight for the wall and don’t think about it too much. It’s best to get a running start.” Shep Evans rested a hand on his shoulder. Remus appreciated the warmth and the weight. Without it, there was no way he was getting onto the train platform. He was nervous enough about going to school without running straight at a brick wall.

“Race you there, slowpoke. Last one to the train buys the first round of chocolate frogs.” Lily didn’t know what it meant to be nervous and ran for the wall full tilt while their mum walked more slowly behind her. Petunia had refused to come with them, which was just as well. Remus understood that Lily’s sister was upset about their letters to Hogwarts, especially his. He always thought of her as Lily’s sister, even though the adoption had been finalized for almost a year and technically they were all siblings. Petunia, he knew, hated him. He sometimes felt guilty and often felt sorrow, but he didn’t dislike her. 

Lily beat him, of course, but he found her waiting just past the barrier. She always waited for him, no matter if that meant outside his muggle classroom at the end of the day or next to his bed the morning after a full moon. “Brilliant, isn’t it Rem?”

“Yeah.” He’d be glad to stay at home with his parents if it wasn’t for the fact that Lily was going to Hogwarts too. The idea of learning proper magic was exciting, and he and Lily had poured over Hogwarts: a History for hours so he knew that the library was going to be amazing, but he didn’t like change. And after three years of transformations in the safety of the family basement, he wasn’t at all sure what they would be like at school.

“People are already boarding, I hope we can find an empty compartment.” Lily was ready to climb on the train but Remus lingered over the farewells as much as he could. When his mum hugged him he couldn’t help but wonder for just a moment what it would have been like if his other parents had still been around. Would he be going to Hogwarts?

“You can write as often as you like, sweetheart. Percival knows how to find me.” Currently Percy was balanced on Lily’s trunk, but he was a family owl. Two years ago when it had been time for a new owl Lily and Remus had been deep into reading Merlin’s histories. “Your dad and I are so proud of you, Remus. You are so much braver than you know.”

“I’ll miss you.” He didn’t feel brave. He felt scared, and only Lily already being on the train steps convinced him to get on the train.

There was an empty compartment, and he and Lily settled in with their trunks stowed above them and a good view of the crowd outside the window. He would be able to see his parents once more before they left.

“Do you mind if I sit in here? I can’t find one with an empty seat.” A boy their own age, with pale gold hair and a smear of chocolate on his face, propped the door to their compartment open with his trunk.

“Sure, there’s enough room for one more.” Lily scooted closer to the window so there was room next to her, and Remus was grateful that the stranger wouldn’t be sitting next to him.

“Thanks. My sister is a sixth year but she said I couldn’t sit with her and her friends. I’m Peter.” He had trouble getting his trunk put away, but Lily helped him.

“I’m Lily. My brother and I are both starting Hogwarts this year.” 

“Remus.” He held out his hand because it was polite. He didn’t say much else as the train started to move, letting Lily and Peter do most of the talking. It turned out that Peter’s brother had already graduated; he was the ‘surprise’ his parents hadn’t expected, five years after his sister had been born. When the trolly came around all three of them brought snacks. Remus bought an extra chocolate frog for Lily. He was about to give it to her when the compartment door opened and quickly banged shut again, though it was open for long enough for Peter’s chocolate frog to escape.

“Terribly sorry but we need a place to hide.” The boy who spoke yanked on the robes of the other boy, both of them with black hair but otherwise looking nothing alike. He used his wand for a locking charm on the door as they both crouched low. For a moment there wasn’t a sound but their heavy breathing. Feet raced past their compartment in the hall but no one tried to get in.

“What did you do?” Peter asked curiously. He barely seemed to notice that he’d lost his chocolate.

“Dungbombs in the carriage used by the seventh year Slytherins. You should have seen it, it was epic.” The boy with the wand grinned, his glasses slightly bent and his hair pointing in ten different directions.

“I’m sure it smelled epic,” Remus couldn’t help but comment. The other boy, the one with the impeccably neat hair and tailored robes, laughed.

“We haven’t been sorted yet. How will you feel if you end up in Slytherin?” Lily’s eyes narrowed.

“Never going to happen,” the first boy said with a shrug. 

“They’ll think twice about taking me.” The second boy tried to laugh, but Remus could see from the look in his eyes that he was serious.

Eventually, when no one knocked on the door the boys relaxed. The one that eventually introduced himself as Sirius sat on the seat near Remus. James squeezed himself between Lily and Peter, despite Lily’s protest. The boys, it turned out, came with pockets laden with treats. Remus suspected they might have come from the Slytherin compartment and not the witch’s trolly, but he didn’t say anything. 

When they arrived at the Hogsmead station they were led to boats, each holding four people. Remus offered to stay behind and let the other four go together.

“No.” Lily shook her head. “You and I stick together, like always.”

It made him feel better to have Lily’s hand in his, but he felt bad when Peter volunteered to find a different boat. It was clear that James and Sirius were not going to separate from each other. Apparently they’d made a bond already, forged in mischief.

Trunks for the first years were piled in the hall while the rest were sent to dorm rooms already assigned. The rest of the students wore their house colors rather than robes of solid black and separated themselves into four long tables. 

“Look, Rem, just like the book.” He and Lily were crowded together near the back of the hall. When he’d first moved into the Evans home his dad, still a stranger then, had charmed his ceiling to look like stars. It was nothing like the charm on the ceiling of the Great Hall. Above them was a ceiling practically indistinguishable from the sky outside. Remus could feel his fingers tingle as he thought about learning that level of magic.

Remus knew, of course, about the four houses. His mum was a Hufflepuff, his dad a Gryffindor. His first dad had been a Gryffindor too. The idea of being sorted into his own house had his stomach in knots. What if he and Lily ended up in different houses? He was starting his education with a secret to keep, what of that made him worthy of being a Slytherin? Who would he share a dorm with and how would he hide what he was when he had to vanish once a month?

Sirius, his surname coming as a surprise when it was announced, was the first person they knew to wear the sorting hat. Even from a distance it was easy to see that he was relieved at the announcement of Gryffindor. From the direction of the Slytherin table there was a whispered fervor. Remus couldn’t imagine that a few dungbombs would have created such a noise.

Lily was next, a dozen people sorted between her and Sirius. The hat barely touched her head when it announced Gryffindor. Remus was dismayed but fought to smile for her. He’d hoped for Ravenclaw. Lily was so clever and they both would have been able to be together. There was no way he could be in Gryffindor. He was next, and Lily waited long enough to give him a hug before running over to a table filled with scarlet and gold. He stared at the hat in dread, not even noticing the professor who held it.

“Remus Lupin Evans. Son of two fathers and two mothers.” He could hear the voice in his head the moment the hat was put on him. It was inside his head, slithering around corners and looking in the darkest parts of his thoughts. He didn’t like it. “You are an interesting one.”

“I want to be with my sister.” He couldn't think about the house, if he did he would remember how much he didn’t belong. Instead he thought about Lily holding his hand, Lily next to his bed the morning after a moon, Lily in the closet with him on bad days.

“It will not be so easy to hide your secrets. You have great strength, but great weakness as well. Darkness and light. You will be tested, Remus Evans.” 

“I know what I am.” He didn’t want to think about the darkness inside, the monster that came to the surface once a month.

“You have a great deal still to learn. Ravenclaw could suit you, but perhaps not as well as Gryffindor.” The last word sounded like shouting. It was then that Remus realized that it had been announced for all to hear.

“I knew it!” Lily crowed as she ran to him, dragging him to the table with her. “Remus this is going to be perfect.”


	3. Something's Wrong with Remus

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Three years apart, two different people speculate about Remus' 'condition.'

“Something is wrong with Remus.” Lily stared out the window that looked over the pond. Her cousins Fabian and Gideon were playing muggle hockey despite the fact that the sun had set. The full moon was bright enough to watch them. Lily was pretty sure that the muggle game didn’t actually use quaffles and brooms, but Gid and Fab seemed to have their own rules.

“You mean besides the fact that he’s at our house while we’ve been shuffled off here yet again?” Petunia didn’t look up from the nail polish she was applying to her fingernails. “Or the fact that he can’t sleep without a light on like the little freak that he is?”

“He’s our brother.” Lily frowned, looking at her sister blowing on one of her fingers. She knew Petunia was upset but it had been months since Remus had arrived and even longer since she hadn’t been invited to Hogwarts and still her sister was so angry. She didn’t even laugh at any of Gideon’s jokes and she used to think he was the funniest person in the world. She barely said a word at the dinner table.

“No, he’s not. He’s some pathetic orphan mum and dad brought home out of pity. He will never be my brother.” Petunia, lips pressed together, capped her nail polish and flounced from the room. Lily tried not to worry that she was silently wishing that she didn’t have a sister either. She missed Tuney, the sister who used to whisper secrets into her ear and hold her hand when they played in the field. She missed Remus too. Her dad hadn’t taken him away again, not since that one time in November, but three times now she and Tuney had spent the night with their aunt and uncle. Remus wasn’t allowed to come and each time he was in bed when they returned home. Every time there were bandages. Lily was worried.

“What’s this, Fab? Looks like someone’s got a bad case of doom and gloom.”

“That’s not allowed here, Gid. We’ll have to administer a treatment.” Lily, lost in her thoughts, hadn’t realized that her cousins had come inside until they were talking. A moment later Fabian had his hands wrapped around her wrists and Gideon had her ankles. 

“There’s a snowbank with your name on it, Lily Evans.”

“It’s hard to frown when you’re flying into a giant pile of snow.” Fabian laughed as they both started swinging her. At fifteen they were even taller than her dad and she was certain she would bounce off the ceiling if they swung her too much higher.

“It’s too cold out there. Please? I’ll stop frowning, I promise.” It was hard to frown when her cousins were around anyway. They joked and teased, danced and juggled. Their second year at Hogwarts they actually pried a stone out of one of the walls and sent it to her and Tuney, teasing that they were going to send them an entire classroom a brick at a time. Their next letter had said that the poor owls had revolted at the plan, and they would have to send their homework instead.

“Do we take pity on her, G? It is a bit chilly out.”

“Not as cold as the time we broke the window in our dorm room. Complete accident, of course, and nothing to do with tossing dungbombs at Slytherins.” Gideon laughed as he put her feet back on the floor. “Looks like we managed to turn that frown upside down anyway.”

“I still think something frozen and white is the answer. Lucky for us there’s peppermint swirl ice cream in the freezer. What do you say, Lils? We could go liberate a few bowls and you can tell us what had you looking so blue?” Fabian led the way to the kitchen without waiting for an answer. 

“Unless you’d rather talk to mum. Or we could floo over to Molly’s. Arthur wouldn’t mind; we do it all the time. What’s the point of Mols marrying unless it’s to give us a place to hide when mum is annoyed with us?” While Gideon scooped the ice cream Fabian warmed up some chocolate fudge on the stove. Remus loved chocolate fudge; Lily wished he was around to have some. Maybe Aunt Thomasina would let her take some home. It might make Remus feel better.

“I think Remus might be sick. And I think mum and dad know what’s wrong but won’t tell me.” She could share one worry, but not the other. Cousin Molly dotted on her brothers, they wouldn’t understand that Petunia could barely stand to breathe the same air as her or Remus. She couldn’t tell them that she was worried she might not be invited to Hogwarts either. She was just as worried that she might be, and what it would do when Petunia found out.

“Sounds like we have a mystery on our hands, Fabian.”

“Good thing team Prewitt is on the case.”

“Team Prewitt and Evans,” Lily added. She wasn’t going to be left out. If something was wrong with Remus she was going to figure it out and fix it.

II

“Something is wrong with Remus.” The boys that shared a room with her brother were crowded around a sofa in the corner of the room, but they didn't know anything about discretion or whispering. Lily could hear them from halfway across the common room where she was playing gobstones with Mary and Prishanka. Remus was down in Poppy’s office, soon to be escorted to the shrieking shack. Lily always felt ill when she thought about it. She did her best to distract herself with the game, but Potter and Black weren’t making it very easy.

“...fourth time?” she heard one of them say.

“Depends on if we count the first week.” They were tracking moons, of course, though they didn’t know it. The first had come only days after they had arrived at Hogwarts. There had been three more before the holiday and one while they were home. Remus had fretted about being a bad liar, and what would happen if they found out. Lily didn’t worry about that part as much. If they hurt Remus she would hurt them.

There were very few people that knew her brother’s secret. Her parents, of course. Her aunt and uncle, Gideon and Fabian, Molly and Arthur. Petunia hadn’t ever mentioned it; Lily had never discussed it with her. Petunia had insisted that she wanted to go away to school, and had moved to Bruton School for Girls a few weeks into the spring semester just a couple of months after Remus moved in. Even at holidays she was rarely around, visiting with friends as much as possible. The number of actual conversations they’d had in the past few years could be counted on her fingers, and none of them were about Remus’ furry little problem. And now, of course, there was the Headmaster, Poppy, and Professor McGonagall. They were all people Lily trusted.

She wasn’t so sure about Remus’ roommates. Peter was friendly enough and she couldn’t imagine him hurting so much as a fly, but Potter had rubbed her the wrong way since the first day on the train. And Black, well she was less certain about him then anyone. It wasn’t his last name, though that carried its own cautions. There was a brashness and an impulsiveness that worried her. 

Lily decided to ignore them all and return her attention to the game, a decision that lasted until all three boys made their way towards the portrait. There wasn’t any reason for them to leave the common room at half eight on a weeknight. No reason except to search for their missing roommate.

“You’re not allowed to leave.” Behind her Mary was protesting that it was her turn, but Lily abandoned the game to block the portrait doorway, her arms crossed. 

“Peter forgot his transfiguration text in the classroom and needs it for his essay.” The lie - Lily was certain it was a lie - flowed out of Potter’s mouth too easily.

“Remus always leaves his books on his desk. He wouldn’t mind sharing with Peter.”

“He’d rather have his own book, wouldn’t you Peter?” Wouldn’t want McGoogles to know you’d left it in the classroom.” Black slung his arm over Peter’s shoulder. Peter nodded far too enthusiastically.

“If you get caught it means house points. Haven’t you put us back far enough already?” Not that following rules was her first priority. There was no reason for them to know where to look for Remus, but the fact that they planned to look somewhere was a concern.

“Gryffindor already has a prefect, Evans. We don’t need another one.” Black looked like he might push past her but Potter grasped him by the shoulder. 

“We’ll get it tomorrow.” They turned and left, heading for their dorm, but Lily stayed near the door until it was time for bed. Once her roommates were settled into their beds she quietly set an alarm for just before dawn.

The common room was empty when Lily left, the fire burned down to coals and the lights dimmed making it look like a different place. She carried her shoes until she was in the hall to make sure she moved as quietly as possible. Fortunately she avoided seeing anyone between the tower and the hospital wing except for the Grey lady who paid her no mind.

“Remus?” The hospital wing was empty other than Poppy and a folding screen blocking the last bed.

“Just getting settled, dear. Give us just a moment.” Poppy vanished into her office and returned a moment later with a tray holding a glass of water and two potions. Two wasn’t so bad; on harsher moons he sometimes needed three or four.

Lily paced, used to the routine by now. While no one had technically given her permission to leave her dorm every full moon Poppy never scolded and McGonagall never told her to stop. She always spent the morning after with Remus, even before she knew what he was recovering from.

“Hey.” There was a chair waiting for her, next to Remus’ bed, but she did a visual inspection before she sat down. There was a bandage on his left hand and he held a hot water bottle to his chest, but that seemed to be the worst of it. “You okay?”

“Right as rain,” he replied with a wan smile.

“You know I don’t put up with that stiff upper lip thing, Remus Evans. How are you really?” She prodded him, figuratively speaking of course. He had an annoying tendency to downplay everything.

“Just the usual soreness, Lils. A bite mark on my hand but Poppy’s already done a healing charm. Don’t tell dad but she’s better at them. A few bruises.” He shrugged. They both knew that bruises were normal. The wolf, frustrated at being trapped in a small space, usually tried to get free. Throwing himself at walls and charm protected windows made for some ugly bruises. A muggle teacher last year had worried that he was being bullied until they’d fed her a story about a karate competition. Fortunately she’d believed them and dad hadn’t had to obliviate her memory.

Lily sat with him for an hour, reading aloud from Sherlock Holmes to him until he fell asleep and then staying a little longer until Poppy reminded her that she needed to have breakfast before her first class. She yawned as she walked out of the door to the hall, wondering if a twenty minute nap would be better than breakfast. She never slept well on the night of a full, knowing what Remus was going through. All thoughts of naps fled when she found Sirius Black leaning against the wall just outside the door.

“I was just-” Lily tried to think of a reason she would be in the hospital wing so early and had almost settled on a vague ‘female issues’ when Sirius pushed himself from the wall.

“Is he alright?” His jaw was clenched but his voice was oddly devoid of emotion.

“He?” She hated playing dumb but couldn’t think of a denial quickly.

“Look, you need to keep his secret, fine. I’m not asking you about it. I grew up in a house full of secrets and lies. I’m used to it. Just tell me -“ his eyes flicked to the hospital door, then back at her. When he spoke again the crescendo of his voice had softened into a harsh whisper. “Is Remus going to be alright?”

“How do you know he’s in there?” It seemed pointless to lie, but that didn’t mean she was going to give anything to him easily.

“I’m not stupid, Evans, whatever you might think of me. I know when he comes back from wherever he goes he’s in pain. And I know what you two are like together, if he was hurt of course you would be there if you could. I have a brother and we are… we were… like that.” Sirius ran a hand through the hair that had been so neat the first week of school, but was now long enough to get in his eyes and curl at the back of his neck.

“I didn’t know you had a brother.” Remus had never said anything about Black having a sibling. She had a hard time imagining it.

“Reggie is nine. My best mate, until this year, but he barely talked to me during winter break. Mum is angry about me not being in the ‘only proper house,’ and Dumbledore’s refusal to move me into Slytherin. My refusal to transfer to Durmstrang. Reggie needs mum’s approval more than he wants a brother.”

“I have a sister. Petunia. She’s fourteen and she can’t do magic. She hasn’t said a word to me since my letter came this summer.” She couldn’t share Remus’ secret but it seemed only fair to give Sirius something. She knew what it was like to hurt when a sibling turned away. “Remus should be able to make it to transfig this afternoon. He just needs some sleep first, but he’s fine.”

“Until the next time.” 

“Yeah.” She couldn’t lie, not even to someone she wasn’t sure she trusted. He seemed honestly upset about Remus hurting, and that was points in his favor at least.

“There’s always going to be a next time, isn’t there?”

“I’d give anything in the world if I could say no.” She’d read every book she could find and asked her dad a million questions. There was no cure. Nothing she could do to protect Remus from the full moon. 

“I’m going to figure out what’s wrong and I’m going to fix it,” Black said stubbornly, his chin tilted up in a way that Lily would have usually found cocky. There was something almost comforting about it. And sometrhing terrifying.

“Remus says you’re his friend. If you are you’ll leave it alone.” Remus needed his friends. She didn’t know how Black or the others would react. She didn’t know if they would keep his secret and if it spread around school there was no way Remus could stay. She wouldn’t let Black or anyone take Hogwarts away from her brother.

“I am his friend, that’s why we need to know what’s wrong so we can make it better. That’s what friends do, Evans.” He walked away before she could say anything else. Lily looked at the closed hospital door and hoped that she could trust Black to be a real friend. If he was celver enough to figure things out she hoped he was kind enough to not hurt Remus. 

With a sigh Lily headed for breakfast. She was too wound up to sleep.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Since Lily's family are wizards it amused me to tie all the redheads together. Plus I love the image of Molly as Lily's older cousin, and in turn Lily as Ginny's older cousin.
> 
> Molly's mum doesn't have a name in canon. I've dubbed her Thomasina because Arthur's dad is Septimus, and my favorite play is Arcadia. In my canon for this story Thomasina Prewitt was born Thomasina Evans, sister to Shep Evans, Lily's dad. This means that Harry and Ron are second cousins.


End file.
